Welcome back to you all and we do hope you had a good summer. For our first coffee morning back we were so pleased to welcome back Soli Lazarus, who came to speak to us about ADHD. The following are the notes I took during the talk, I hope they all make sense but I will try and upload a copy of the slides.
What is ADHD?
- Overlaps with Autism
- Brain difference – fact, not fiction, not bad parenting or naughty children. Seeking dopamine, serotonin and noradrenaline.
- Not a deficit of attention, but too much attention – to focus on.
EG:
- Lots of TV sets, interrupted thoughts – which to focus on, which to turn down. Brain is overloaded.
- Computer tabs open – News…what was that thing I read? another tab opens…oh, need to book holiday…forgot about first thing I sat down to do.
- Distracted – from the thing that is boring and dull.
Most people with ADHD are average, some smart, some with learning difficulties. Some aren’t motivated, are bored, so focus on other “TV sets” (as mentioned above). This means in school, sometimes they are put in lower abilities and their needs get missed.
The Main 3 Features
- Impulsive – inappropriate, risk taker, starts a task then moves on to another, no brakes, difficulty taking turns, loses things. Ferrari engine, bicycle brakes.
- Hyperactive – in your face, on the move (in a big way), fidgets (taps, giggles leg, flicking, spilling; need to keep brain engaged). Zillions of ideas, hyper-focus, chaotic, gets bored.
- Inattentive – dreamy, careless mistakes, big emotions, worrier (misses asking for more info, sometimes internalises), perfectionist (can’t get it wrong), talkative, distraction.
These things missed in school may lead to anxiety, which may lead to a a GP appointment and antidepressants.
Executive Function Challenges
Same is safe -> change is tricky (transitions) -> forgets instructions (brain is full) -> emotionally flooded and will catastrophise (difficult to manage, drama inside the head) -> Disorganised (put keys down, don’t pay attention where = looses keys) -> Poor measure of time (what does 10 minutes feel like? Could be now or ages from now. Just like asking a 15 year old about a pension).
Sensory Difficutlies
- Sensory seeking -v- Sensory sensitive
- chew, hug, speed -v- smell, motion
- hyper-vigilant -v- overwhelmed
- observant -v- lights, distractible
- need to chew -v- fussy eater
- calming, fidget -v- labels
- distracted -v- overwhelmed
- Difficulties finding emotional equilibrium – dismissal of these results in focus on trying to block them out.
“Everyone is a bit ADHD” = WRONG!! – Highly genetic
- It’s only a problem if it’s a problem – does it really effect your life?
- Significant difficulties – friendships, jobs (significant adjustments to make it manageable).
- Go to GP, get on waiting list
- Keep diary and video evidence.
How to support your child
Aim – Empower your child to know about ADHD and express what they need. Cannot be a helicopter parent.
What does your child want school to know?
- sometimes I just have to go and … bounce on the trampoline, go for a walk – not because I’m wrong
- Communication with SENCO/Head – ask how they monitor SEND plans and pupil passports
- Request copy of the SEND Plan – read up on the Code of Practice, SEND Regs 2014, and Equalities Act (outlines legal obligations, reasonable adjustments).
- SENDIAS can support, advise and accompany you to meetings
- we don’t say these things for deaf or blind people, why should we do so for a brain diff such as ADHD?
Traditional parenting
THROW OUT THE RULE BOOK – need to be on a different channel.
- Make it normal from the off
- Prep a letter from your child to the teacher in the new year.
- Trouble with today’s school is there is no more focus on physical arts, etc., but more focus on academics and ratings which shuts out kids with ADHD.
Here a parent mentioned PABLO on CBeeBees – a very good kids show.
Angela from Bucks Family Info said there were lots of helpful links there.
5 Point Plan – Star to Success
- Behaviour strategies – Be consistent, create safe, nurturing environment, discuss away from your child, educate the whole family.
- Sleep routine – plan for after school: calm activities, switch of 1 hour before, bath before, charge devices outside bedroom (take temptation away), read, journal (to brain dump), calm busy brain, audio book/white noise/ASMR, cool room.
- Exercise – releases needed chemicals, go outside to calm down, never miss break time at school, walk and talk, go out for a specific time and give it a purpose. Maybe not team games, more risk taking activities (rock climbing, parkour, horseback riding, skateboarding, etc.).
- Medication – ADHD brain lacks chemicals, benefits -v- side affects, meds stimulate neurone that fire up the missing chemicals, prescribed by a psychiatrist, no reports of long term effects (teens less likely to try hard drugs as meds allow them to stop and think).
- Diet – high protein, avoid sugary foods, Omega 3 supplement, breakfast really important, grazing meals (separate bowls so they can help themselves, maybe hear where you’d like them to eat); zinc, iron, magnesium
Strategies to use a home
- Organisation – break down tasks, money cards, storage baskets, label printer, post-it notes, in-trays
- Time keeping – will not learn from mistakes, make it a game. Now and next, voice note, Wobl watch, Alexa (when you hear…it’s time to come down), timer, sync Google calendar.
- Screens – too late for teens now, but not for early years and primary. Games can allow for contact with others without being in person. Also allows them to be successful.
- Charge outside bedroom, check child’s phone regularly, online safety is so important
- engage in their game to get them to wind it down to stop for dinner/go out, etc. Book – Boy Made of Blocks
- Visual reminders and timer to stop, agreed next activity. Has to be times when you put your own phone down to lead by example.
Smart phone free campaign
Bucks Info links
Emotions
All emotions are okay
- Heightened state
- Amygdala – fight, flight, freeze
- Coloured zones 1-10 (green to red) – get them to recognise when they’re on 7/8
- Listen more than talk
- Calming strategies – colouring, music, punch bag, hugs, chill out zone
- Plan – how do we stop. Can’t have the conversation when on 7 or 8.
Punishments – WRONG
Don’t help – only sends a negative message and makes them angrier. Heightened state means they don’t have the capacity to learn (no more brain space). Rewards work better for positive behaviour
Don’t punish at home for something at school
Behaviour detective – Understand what lead to it. It is because…tired, hungry, sense of injustice, rules, friendships. Talk and find win-win. Or use Post-it notes (“I have noticed…”). Don’t want child to live in fear.
Calming strategies
Siblings
Educate about ADHD, take seriously all feelings
Get them to work it out – family games (is it going to work?), make it fair
Make time for each child – each parent to spend time with each child.
Relationship
Vital – the come to you when there’s a problem, you’re in their corner
Spend time doing fun stuff
Look after yourself
- Every day
- 5 minutes
- treats
- date in the diary
Resilient Knickers – Shield of Knowledge – Cape of No Fear
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soli@yellow-sun.com
www.soli-lazarus.com
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Books:
- The ADHD Teen Survival Guide
- ADHD is Our Superpower